Verse 1: We stood upon the pier today and said our last goodbye,
And as I held her hand in mine a tear stood in my eye.
She saw that tear and said, "I hate to leave my lonesome boy."
I turned away, she did not know, those tears were tears of joy.

Chorus 1: I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, she's on her way.
She'll spend a week on every Isle, and say, that's why I'm gay.
So everybody come and give three cheers,
She's going to be away for twenty years,
'Cause I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, Hooray!

Verse 2: Just think when I get home tonight there'll be no wifey there,
And just across the table I will see a vacant chair.
I love my wife, I love my wife, I love her more each day.
I love my wife, I love my wife, because she's far away.

Chorus 2: I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, she's on her way.
She'll spend a week on every Isle, and say, that's why I'm gay.
Tonight when I go home at half past ten,
I'll turn around and walk right out again,
'Cause I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, Hooray!

Verse 3: I'm going to take the rugs up I won't need them anymore,
And buy some new dance records, then get down and wax the floor.
I'll fill the ice chest full of things, then phone the boys and say,
Come up and bring the girls, my home is now a cabaret.

Chorus 3: I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, she's on her way.
She'll spend a week on every Isle, and say, that's why I'm gay.
And if the tenants start to raise a shout,
I'll buy the house and put the tenants out,
'Cause I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, Hooray!

Verse 4: She told me I must not forget to feed the dog and cat,
I think they'll have to take their meals down at the automat,
And then I'll take the parrot and jab cotten [sic] in each ear,
I'd hate to have him tell the wife, the things that he will hear.

Chorus 4: I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, she's on her way.
She'll spend a week on every Isle, and say, that's why I'm gay.
I'll give a chicken dinner twice a week,
I won't let Ziegfeld even have a peek,
'Cause I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, Hooray!

Verse 5: I'll tell the elevator boy to tell the girl next door,
To tell her friend, to tell her friend down on the second floor,
To tell her friend, to tell her friend, the blonde across the street,
To tell her friend, to tell her friend, to speak next time we meet.

Chorus 5: I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, she's on her way.
She'll spend a week on every Isle, and say, that's why I'm gay.
There's not a girl for whom my heart don't yearn,
So just be patient girls and wait your turn,
'Cause I sent my wife to the Thousand Isles today, Hooray!

I've been a dead one and an also ran,
But now I'm going to be a ladies man.

Now at the Winter Garden * I'll be found,
The stage door there will be my camping ground.

There'll be no one to holler in my ear,
There goes the "Buzzer" take the milk off dear

Now I can snore until the ceilings crack
No one will yell, wake up you're on your back

And when I pass the girl that 'tends the phone,
I'll hum that little ditty "All Alone." **

And if by chance you meet some lonesome squab
Just say that little Willie's on the job. ***

*     The Winter Garden just happens to be the Manhattan theatre where Jolson performed this tune in the musical Robinson Crusoe Jr.
**   All Alone refers to another hit of the day that features a girl on the cover with a telephone claiming she's all alone and would like some company!
*** Frankly, I don't know what this means. Not sure if I want to.